Do you find yourself going over dinner with family next week over and over in your head? Or standing in front of the wardrobe, agonising over what to wear to an important work meeting?

If this sounds familiar, you may be caught in a pattern of overthinking.

Overthinking can be exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming. It can disrupt your sleep, affect your relationships and chip away at your self-confidence.

You might feel that overthinking helps you prepare for every eventuality, so that if the worst-case scenario happens, you'll be ready for it. But more often than not, overthinking leaves you feeling more anxious, not less.

Why does overthinking happen?

Overthinking is often both a symptom of anxiety and something that feeds it. When anxiety is present, the uncertainty of everyday life starts to feel like a genuine threat. Your nervous system goes on high alert, and in an effort to protect you, it uses up energy excessively analysing situations in search of safety or predictability.

This process can bring temporary relief. You may recognise the feeling of calm that comes once you've figured out a solution or made a plan for something that was worrying you, for example, checking alternative routes in case your train is delayed.

However, this peace is usually short-lived, quickly followed by another worried thought. What if your lift to the station falls through?

The three common thought patterns behind overthinking

Overthinking tends to show up in one of three ways:

• Catastrophising – imagining or visualising the worst possible outcome of a situation.
• What-if loops – replaying past experiences, such as a conversation with a colleague, to analyse everything you said, or repeatedly questioning how a future event will turn out.
• Hyperawareness – becoming hypervigilant about your internal thoughts or bodily sensations, often seen in those who overthink physical symptoms.

Tips to help you break the cycle

• Label the thoughts. Try naming them as "worried thoughts" rather than facts, to create a little distance from them.
• Set aside worry time. Give yourself a dedicated slot each day,  some people find it helpful to set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes, to let yourself worry. Once the timer ends, try to put those thoughts aside until tomorrow.
• Use grounding techniques. The 5-4-3-2-1 method can help bring you back to the present moment:
  • Notice 5 things you can see
  • Find 4 things you can touch
  • Name 3 things you can hear
  • Spot 2 things you can smell
  • Note 1 thing you can taste
• Reach out for support. Speaking to a counsellor or therapist can help you understand and manage overthinking patterns.

How counselling can help with overthinking

Counselling can help you identify the root cause of your anxiety, reframe negative thought patterns and learn strategies to break repetitive loops of worry.

Together, we can work on mindfulness techniques, establish healthy boundaries and explore the emotions underneath the overthinking, such as underlying fears or hidden shame, so you can feel calmer and more in control of your thoughts.