Domestic abuse is a serious issue that affects individuals and families across the world. It can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, gender, or socio-economic status. One of the most insidious aspects of domestic abuse is the blame that the abuser places on the other person. This blame can make it challenging for you to recognise and address the abuse.

Blaming the person affected by the abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to control and manipulate their target. The abuser may blame you for their behaviour, saying that they wouldn't have to act out if you didn't do or say certain things. This behaviour can lead the you feeling like you are responsible for the abuse or that you are somehow at fault.

It's essential to understand that domestic abuse is never your fault. The abuser is solely responsible for their behaviour and actions. You are not to blame for the abuse you have suffered.

Recognising and addressing blame in domestic abuse situations is essential for helping you heal and move forward. Here are some steps you can take if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse:

Recognise the abuse: It's important to recognise the signs of abuse and understand that it's not your or the person’s fault. Abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse.

Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your experiences. Consider seeking professional help from a counsellor or therapist who can provide additional support and guidance.

Set boundaries: Set clear boundaries with the abuser and stick to them. Don't allow them to make you feel guilty or responsible for their behaviour.

Get help: If you are in a situation where you feel unsafe, consider seeking help from a domestic violence hotline or local law enforcement.

Hold the abuser accountable: It's important to hold the abuser accountable for their behaviour. This can involve seeking legal action or reporting the abuse to the authorities.

In conclusion, domestic abuse is a serious issue that affects individuals and families across the world. Blaming the victim is a common tactic used by abusers to control and manipulate their victims, and it's important to recognize and address this behaviour. By recognizing the abuse, seeking support, setting boundaries, getting help, and holding the abuser accountable, victims can move forward and reclaim their sense of self-worth and autonomy. Remember, domestic abuse is never the victim's fault, and there is always help available for those who need it.

If you think you or someone close to you is in an abusive relationship and they would benefit from some support, please get in contact with me at Jan Scoones Counselling to see if I can help.